1 adorable beluga whale
2 forty ounces of malt liquor (the higher the gravity, the better)
1 box of seasoned chalk
1 block salt (imported, not exported. the moister the better)
5 cups flour
1/2 pint milk (goat milk is optimal, but traditional person's milk is fine too)
a shit ass fucking ton of other stuff
This is basically a new spin on an old classic (beer battered shrimp, beer battered chicken, duck imperial, etc). Wat u will need is a beluga whale. For this you will only be using the whales fins so when you've removed or had a tailor remove the fins you will want to dispose of the whale. I know of a few BD's (beluga dispensaries) in the tri-state area, so email me if ur wondering the age old question WDIDWTWWIDCOIF (what do I do with the whale when I'm done cutting off its fins?). But basically your going to make a batter to batter the fins with and then fry them until there crispy First you add your fortys, If you like your whale a little creamier by all means use some guiness stout fucking bourgeois scumbag. It's about getting the whale fin nice and crispy. Whale fins are firmer than other meat like gator or porcupine so your going to make sure that you're going to want to let it really cook, half hour at the least. BELUGA WHALE FINS ARE BIG AS SHIT. your going to want a really big pan. The outcome is delicious. Bone Appetite! Your going to want to mix the salt (not the whole block but like 1/10th of it, throw the rest of the salt out immediately and smoke a cigarette), milk, flour, chalk (The chalk releases hydrotryptonitrophonoglycerides in the water molecules of the salt formula, releasing flavors endorphins science darwin Alton Brown etc), and then mix in the whole shit ass fucking ton of the other stuff. Cook until very crispy on oututside soft on inside, in a pan full of olive- or foot- oil. Serves about fourteen undernourished Swedish babies or three grown healthy African men.
If u did it rite it should look like this. Enjoy!
